If a year ago, someone came up to me to tell me that I'm going to cook someday, I'll burst my head laughing. Anyone who know me, the untwisted me, will know that I do not know heck about cooking, let alone baking.
"But come on, takkan masak air pun tak tau? Masak nasi ke? Jadilah. Alah, pompuan, takkan la tak reti masak langsung.."
Let me make some rebuttal here.
1. I can not differentiate any ingredients. I don't know types of veges, fishes, fruits, rempah, parts of chicken, or beef, and ulam and so on and so forth. Heck, I don't even know the names of the pots and pans.
Scenario A, Dapur Rumah
The Mom : Mak suruh beli sawi, yang beli sayur ni buat pa?!
Scenario B, Pasar Malam
Librarian: Wow, besar nye ikan bilis kat nasi goreng tu..
One Jejaka: Erm...itu ikan kering la cik kak..
The Hawker: *Terbeliak mata*
( I can bet my big money that The hawker mumbled, "Biar betui minah ni..")
2. Never in my life can I answer this question "Try tasting this, apa yang kurang..?"
Scenario C, Dapur Rumah
The Mom: Try ni, rasa apa?
Librarian: Erm, you just gave me a spoon full of kari..*Slurps* Rasa kari.
The Mom: Ye la, manis ke masin ke..?
Librarian: *Slurps* Erm rasa kari?
3. Minyak panas freaks me out.
Scenario D, Dapur Rumah
The Mom: Tambah air skit, dah kering tu..
Librarian: Campur air dengan minyak kan nanti minyak tu macam meletup? Sakit la mak, takmo letak boleh?
The Mom: ...
(I swear she gave me a very dark look. So dark I was ready for minyak panas poured on my head)
4. Its common knowledge, fish head freaks me out. Freak Out. BIG TIME.
Scenario E, This happens a lot of time, I can't remember when and where already. You'll just have to take my word for it.
5. I can not do the cutting, dicing, slicing, or whatever everyone do in the kitchen.
Scenario F, Rumah Sewa
Housemate El: Potong ni jab, macam ni...Tak macam ni..Besar la tu, kecik lagi...Halus lagi..Lyn, macam ni la..
Okay, this list can go on and on, lets just stop at number 5. I'm pretty sure The Baker can add up until 50! After watching Rattatuille for the 100th time, and watching the kid chefs cooking on TV and repeatedly saying "That kid is RIDICULOUS!!", I have to know the stuff.
So I've been trying out a bit, I mean how hard can this be? The rat can do it and he is a furry little mammal kan? As I reached out for the periuk to set on the stove, I replay what the rat said, that everyone can cook, and began.
My 1st attempt was Otak-Otak Siam. The one you have to kukus it in banana leaves, and erm, bits of ikan ahhh, and put some daun, alah that daun.. You know, yeah, That one!
Heh, so yeah, I kukus-ed it, and it worked! I mean, the thing menjadi, at least nobody got stomachache. All goood.
My second attempt was for breakfast. Its my Chunky Omelette, should I give a name to it. I woke up considerably early (ehem) and start cooking. When its all done, I present my masterpiece to my The Baker, The Mom, The Dad, and nephews...
Five seconds later,
Scenario G, Dapur Rumah
My 3 year old nephew : OWH NOO...
Yeah, The Librarian needs a LOT of practice.
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